7th Grade Parents              8th Grade Parents

7th Grade Parents

Does it seem like your child's development is totally unpredictable?  It's true:  "normal" development for the average middle schooler varies a lot.  Some kids are taller, some shorter, some adjust to school more easily than others, and most girls grow faster and mature faster than boys.  One year they are easy to get along with, the next year. . . .oh my goodness!

One of the biggest jobs your 7th grader has right now is developing close friendships.  Learning what real friendship is takes time and energy. . .and takes the child outside the family.   That's normal.  This is the year children begin to search for faithful relationships, something they'll need to understand, rely on, and be part of for the rest of their lives.

Parents can help their 7th graders by simply loving their children.  Loved children are healthier, learn better, do better in school, take fewer risks, and turn out to be nice, loveable people who can go on to be successful and resilient adults.  They are more likely to have good relationships, to be hired and promoted, and to get help with things go wrong.

In addition, parents should make sure their 7th grader is getting enough sleep, healthy food and exercise.  A focus on school achievement is also critical at this time.  It is important for parents to bring up the topic of schoolwork every day.  Make sure your child has a place to study at home.  Observe their organizational skills.  Is your child aware of assignments and due dates?  Does your child have the necessary books and paperwork to complete the assignment at home? 

Goal setting in the 7th grade can be very helpful in helping your child succeed.  The goals need to be personal, simple, and doable, for example:

  • I will finish all my homework every night, pack it in my book bag before I go to bed, and hand it in on time.
  • When I have free time, I will read out loud to my (brother, sister, mom, dad, grandparent).  This will help me be a better reader.
  • This year, I will find an activity that I would like to do (like music or the school newspaper), and join that group, and stick with it.
  • I will ride my bike or go running or do something with all my extra energy, at least half an hour every day.

8th Grade Parents

Life at age 13 can be boring, exciting, frightening, and confusing . . .all at once.  It's a time of amazing transitions.  The information below gives you a snapshot of where your eighth grader is likely to be:

  • Physical:  Girls at 95% of height and weight.  Boys' voices are starting to change, growth spurt is about a year behind girls'.  Skin problems emerging.  Body image is a big concern:  the mirror is "best friend and worst enemy."  High physical energy. 

  • Mental/Academic:  Abstract thinking and reasoning begins.  Challenges adults' ideas and authority.  Growing interest in issues of fairness and justice.  Starting to focus on particular subjects that they like best.  Write better than they speak.  Inward focus means students may not participate well in class discussion.  Worries about schoolwork.

  • Social:  Quieter than age 12 or age 14.  Feelings are easily hurt.  Music is a major focus.  Doesn't do well in cooperative groups but works well with a single partner.  Peer pressure increasing: 

  • Personal Identity:  Tends to be self-critical.  Sensitivity and withdrawn behavior are protecting new ideas and self-concepts that aren't fully formed yet.  Beginning to see issues and problems from many sides and form own ideas and solutions.

  • Family Relationships:  Starting to challenge parents' authority; hyper-concerned with fairness.

(The above information is based on Chip Wood, Yardsticks:  Children in the Classroom Ages 4-14, 2004, pp.154-157.)

When your teen is still in junior high you should start looking at what's ahead in high school.  There will be some requirements for math, science, English, social studies, health, physical education, fine arts and practical arts.  It's important to refer to the high school graduation requirements.  If your child is planning to further his/her education, there will be admission requirements for that institution. 

Parents have their own transition to make when their children start high school, and staying involved is a big part of the challenge.  An absolutely crucial part.  Research from the U.S. Department of Education shows that students whose parents stay highly involved with their high school education are much more likely to earn a high school diploma and go on to get technical training or a college degree.

Being involved doesn't just mean going to meetings at the school.  It means knowing what makes your children tick and taking a true interest in their activities and accomplishments.  Learn their favorite subjects and favorite teachers.  Discover what they like best about the school and the community.  Encourage and praise their efforts.  Support their inborn gifts, talents, and abilities.